Elkeen van ons reageer verskillend op spanning en angs. Sommige het angs en ander nie. Spanning maak sommige van ons lus en laat by ander die lus afneem. Dit is belangrik om in hierdie dae jou geliefde se reaksie op die gebeure in die wêreld te probeer verstaan en geduldig te wees as dit nie met joune ooreenstem nie.
Hier is ‘n artikel wat so bietjie daarmee kan help.
(Skies dis in Engels, maar ek deel mos sommige artikels met jou in Engels as ek dink dit het inligting in waarin jy sal belangstel. xx)
Die artikel het eerste op HIERDIE webwerf verskyn.
Here’s what coronavirus anxiety might be doing to your sex drive
Luke broke up with his boyfriend a week before social distancing measures were put in place.
It’s bad timing, he says, because anxiety around the pandemic has only increased his sex drive and craving for intimacy.
“I’m on [apps] like Tinder and Grindr so it’s good in the sense that I can chat to guys, but nothing beats that feeling of physical intimacy with someone,” the 38-year-old says.
“Especially when the world feels like a scary place to be right now.”
On the flipside, Amanda says coronavirus has made her too anxious to even want to have sex with her boyfriend.
The 28-year-old is out of work and says she “can’t stop panicking”.
Melbourne sexologist Kassandra Mourikis says it’s normal in times of uncertainty to experience a change in libido.
For others, stress may cause desire to drop off.
“Because the coronavirus links to threats of survival and anxiety, the brain triages that as important and sex as not important,” Ms Mourikis says.
So whether you’re struggling to satisfy your needs, or wondering where your sex drive went, we’ve got some tips to help you through this tricky time.
Why coronavirus is sending our sex drive into a spin
As well as a desire to increase feelings of safety, Ms Mourikis says people could be feeling a heightened sex drive because:
“When you’re afraid you want to go to the person that you love and be more connected.”
She says when people face death they can become more sexual.
“People often get really horny at funerals — I have had so many clients tell me they met at a funeral.”
It’s also possible you will be feeling too stressed or drained to even think about sex.
“Sex in any context that is stressful feels different sex to when you are feeling calm and safe,” Ms Mourikis says.
She says there a number of factors that could be at play:
Advice for those craving more intimacy
Because Luke lives by himself, he’s missing the company of anyone — let alone a sexual partner.
“I am single in a time where I can’t go out and meet anyone, make out, have sex, hug a friend … it’s really challenging,” he says.
“I feel like that scene in Bridget Jones where she is being eaten by a pack of Alsatians.”
He’s been using self-soothing techniques to help.
“Stuff like listening to [my] favourite music, TV shows, eating [my] favourite meal, burning some nice incense. Just stuff that makes me feel cared for.”
Ms Mourikis says social distancing means we need to embrace more virtual forms of intimacy.
“Sex is anything that feels good; you can still have a good time looking at your partner through your computer or talking over the phone.
“People are spending more time on dating apps connecting with other people in some way.”
Ms Koens says if you have a partner you are separated from, try sexting.
“This is the time to perfect your sexy selfie.”
Partnered or not, she also says it’s a great time to masturbate and enhance those experiences.
“Have a ‘love session’ with yourself.”
She recommends touching parts of your body, not just your genitals, as well as using your imagination.
If you live with your partner, rest assured sex during this pandemic is safe — as long as you don’t have COVID-19 or suspect you may have it.
Professor Marylouise McLaws, an expert in infection prevention and control from UNSW, says because SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19) can be spread through close contact, it can be spread through intimacy during sex.
If you have COVID-19, or you’re in self-isolation because you have arrived from overseas for example, you should avoid close contact with others — including your partner.
“Just living together in the same house can spread COVID-19 between family members,” Professor McLaws says.
If you aren’t self-isolating and don’t have symptoms or recent exposure, she says it is safe to proceed to sexy time with your partner (as long as they’re in a similar boat).
Amanda says her partner has been understanding about her lack of sexual desire.
“I just haven’t been super turned on due to all the anxiety I’m experiencing.
She says he’s helped her relax with massages — something the experts recommend.
“We have to remember when we are fight or flight our sexual arousal systems are shut down,” says Ms Koens.
She recommends letting your partner know what you need from them to relax and taking deep breaths to help you “rest and digest”.
Partners who are frustrated their other half isn’t in the mood should take care of their own sexual needs, says Ms Mourikis.
“We can focus on solo pleasure or asking our partner to participate in a way that is non-physical.
“It’s really each person to focus on themselves when their partner doesn’t want to have sex.”